While The Cat's Away, The Racoon Goes Nuts
by Ode2Joy
Summary: When Imrahil goes away on vacation, Tom Nook goes crazy and takes over the town. When Imrahil returns, can he band the people of the town together and help them retake their homes? Includes murderous Garglers (aka Gyroids) and an explosion!


Disclaimer: I own nothing, Nintendo owns all. The name "Imrahil" is property of the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Note: I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ THIS NOTE BEFORE MOVING ONTO THE STORY!  
This story was written in my English class over the course of a few weeks while we were reading Macbeth. We read the damned play aloud. Now, even in tenth grade, most kids cannot read aloud for their lives. I implore you to imagine them struggling to read Shakespeare. It's one of the most frustrating experiences I've ever had. Therefore, this story is pure, unbridled insanity. I wrote whatever the hell popped into my head. It is a very very VERY cliché story line that includes an elaborate plan and an explosion, but I found it amusing to place the Animal Crossing gang right in the middle of it. Also, keep in mind that the story should not be taken seriously, cause I sure didn't try to make it a magnificent piece of art.  
  
ANOTHER NOTE! READ THIS AT ALL COSTS!  
A confusing change I made is that I refer to the Gyroids as "Garglers". My friend had the game before me and referred to them as Garglers, thus I always have as well. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
A Final Note: Thanks to Sonic Hero for pointing out my blatant disregard for the AC culture and talking about money as opposed to bells. That has been remedied. I have also added tidbits about a few people I forgot to mention. (See Bob's speech in Part IV)  
  
Part I- Town in Shambles  
  
It was a ghost town. That was the only way to describe it. Imrahil hesitantly stepped off the train. Porter was not there to greet him. There was no one in sight.  
  
Imrahil had been out of town for 6 months on vacation. He hoped to come hope and find everything the way he had left it, but that was not the case.  
  
A cold gust of wind blew through the train station as the train pulled away. He was stuck here.  
  
Slowly, Imrahil made his way to his house. The orange roof was covered in leaves and dirt. Two of his first floor windows were broken. He rushed inside. He found the place ransacked. All that was left was a few scraps and his broken stereo, his K.K. Ballad CD smashed on the floor. Upstairs was barren. They had even taken his pond! Imrahil started to panic. If they took the pond....  
  
He raced to the basement. Everything was smashed and his extensive collection of Garglers was gone!  
  
Imrahil fell to his knees, "Noooooo! Why my precious Garglers?! WHY?!"  
  
A terrible realization dawned on him. He ran across the plaza to his brother, Noodle's, house. It was torn to pieces. There was nothing left of Noodle but bones.  
  
Imrahil raced down to his sister, Dudette's house. All that was left of her was her hat.  
  
Imrahil bolted back to his house and jumped the stairs to the basement. One thing remained standing and it was buried under rubble. He knocked the rubble away. A chest was there. Hurriedly, Imrahil emptied worthless items from his inventory, stationary, raffle tickets, etc. He opened the chest, fearing that what he had stored there would be gone. But luck was on his side! There were three brand new axes.  
  
Imrahil broke axes all the time, so he had always kept a few in stock. But now he did not know what to do. He put his half-worn axe in his inventory and hefted a fresh one. He then decided to make for Nook's store.  
  
Part II- Corruption and Greed  
  
Imrahil skulked quietly to Nook's store. He heard laughter from inside. Smiling to himself, he thought of his friends.  
  
He peeked in the window, then gasped. There was Tom Nook all right. Dressed in a tux, smoking a cigar and wearing a monocle. He was surrounded by what seemed liked a thousand Garglers. Big, small, tall, fat, tiny, ALL OF THEM.  
  
Tom Nook spoke, "Dear minions! Have you found the rogues?"  
  
The Garglers gargled.  
  
Tom Nook screamed, "Are you good for anything? Find them and kill them!"  
  
The Garglers started hopping toward the door. Imrahil stood for a moment, frozen in fear. Then he ran, ran with all he had toward the house of his good friend, Bob. Bob always had a plan and hopefully he would have one now.  
  
As Imrahil ran through the weeds and he stumbled over a shrub. He struggled to get up. The Garglers were coming. He could hear their Death Gargle.  
  
It was at that moment that a flurry of hands grabbed him and pulled him underground.  
  
Part III-The Underground Society  
  
Imrahil tried to scream, but about fifty hands prevented him from doing so. A familiar voice shushed him, "Quiet, Silly!"  
  
Imrahil's eyes adjusted slowly to the dark. Rosie and maybe eight others peered down at him. Imrahil quickly scanned the faces for a certain someone. There was Bob, his dearest friend, staring at him with a concerned look in his eyes. He saw others, Deena was there. So were Stinky, Chow, Egbert, Kitty and Ellie. Imrahil saw Nibbles lying in a corner. She looked very ill. Roald and Aurora were tending to her.  
  
"What's going on?" Imrahil demanded shakily.  
  
"Nook went crazy," Egbert replied simply.  
  
"More than that!" exploded Chow, "He took our homes, our furniture, EVERYTHING! Apparently, the Garglers were playing dumb. When they started to move, they worked like a professional army. Caesar, that cocky bastard, was the first to go. Thought he could pummel them. They ripped him limb from limb. Next they got everyone at the post office, so we couldn't send for help. Pete's feathers were everywhere. Then poor poor Blathers... He wouldn't leave his precious museum, and it didn't have a door. They left only his beak. Slowly, they picked off others. On our last journey, they got Nibbles. She doesn't look like she's gonna make it."  
  
"Wha... When did this happen?"  
  
"About three months ago," said Ellie.  
  
"Quiet!" cautioned Kitty sharply, "They're coming!"  
  
There was what seemed to be an earthquake punctuated by gargles. It took at least three minutes for them all to pass over. Deena started crying and Stinky comforted her.  
  
"We need to fight. Or at least escape. We have hardly anything..." Kitty mused.  
  
Imrahil looked at the mass, "What of your houses?"  
  
"Completely destroyed, "sobbed Deena.  
  
"There's debris, but it's so hard to get to. They're everywhere," Stinky contributed.  
  
Road waddled over. Aurora was writing something down.  
  
Imrahil quickly ran to Nibbles, hoping to catch a last word. Then he saw her and quickly turned away. He couldn't even see her face, as she was mutilated beyond recognition.  
  
Aurora looked at her watch, "Time of death, 6:42 p.m."  
  
Part IV- A Pensive Moment  
  
Imrahil sat by himself on one of the salvaged cushions. Considering, these people's underground village was comfortable enough. Blankets, pillows and cushions littered the grainy floor. There were bureaus and dressers filled with scavenged fruit. But no weapons. That needed to be remedied.  
  
He looked over a Bob, who hadn't spoken since he had been yanked into this underground sanctuary. Bob caught Imrahil's eye and slowly made his way over everyone else's sleeping bodies. He plopped down next to Imrahil.  
  
"This is a terrible 'Welcome Home!'"  
  
Imrahil whispered, "Well, we're in quite a situation my friend."  
  
Bob looked straight ahead intently. "I'm painfully aware of our situation." He flopped back on some pillows; "Everything is gone. Nook ransacked everything just for a few bells. 'Poof!' and he turns on us." Bob looked at Imrahil intently, "He got the others too, you know. Redd, Tortimer, Gulliver, Katrina.... Even Rover, man! They seized the train. Rover, Blanca and Joan were all taken out. Now no one can use car number 2, it's covered in blood. Not that any of us could get on the train without being torn to pieces. "  
  
Imrahil shut his eyes and lay back as well. He would not take this. They had to devise a plan.  
  
Part V- We Gotta Do Something  
  
Imrahil awoke snuggled up to Bob. He glanced hurriedly around the room and scooted away from Bob's comatose form. If anyone had seen him, it would have been worse than that time he got drunk in Vegas.  
  
"We need a plan," he whispered to himself.  
  
Rosie screamed and startled herself awake. She was shaking.  
  
Imrahil rolled himself so that he was next to her. "What's wrong?" he asked gently.  
  
"I have nightmares. Before we built this hide out, we tried to hold up in our homes. It was stupid. The night they got Mallary was the worst. She put up a good fight, but numbers won out in the end. There was such a scuffle. One of her wings crashed through my window. I hid in my wardrobe. That night, Bob told us about this place. It was still in construction at the time, but at least we had somewhere to go! Yet, now I'm scared. There's no "Plan B", and if we're found, we're screwed."  
  
"Maybe not. Do we have weapons?"  
  
"Just the shovels. They're not very effective. We have to get them in the eyes or mouth, their exteriors are too hard and crunchy."  
  
"I have 3 new axes and 1 kinda worn one. We could send some people out to gather debris, and others could dig. Tunnels would go throughout the entire town. We could get basically anywhere without having to go above ground for more time than necessary."  
  
Rosie's eyes shone with hope for the first time in months, "We must tell the others!"  
  
Imrahil looked around the room at all the other animals. They were all staring at him.  
  
Stinky spoke slowly, "We think it's a great idea."  
  
Part VI- The Plan  
  
Troops were soon assembled. It was agreed that Chow would lead the digging, as he had lived in that town longer than even Nook. Imrahil and Ellie volunteered for the gathering. They armed themselves with fresh axes, leaving the other two to Deena and Kitty to guard the fort.  
  
Before leaving, Imrahil and Bob did some fancy high-five that drew some inquisitive looks from the others. He and Ellie ascended.  
  
Their best bet was the mess of houses right below Nookington's. Rosie, Deena, Aurora, Roald and Mallary's homes were all clumped together.  
  
They didn't find much. Boards with nails mainly. Roald had an axe. But that was all they found until reaching Mallary's house.  
  
When Mallary first moved in, she showed Imrahil her secret basement. A trap door led to it. When he saw it, it was empty, so now Imrahil didn't know what to expect. He climbed down the ladder and lit a match, then quickly blew it out.  
  
Apparently, Mallary had a thing for explosives. Fireworks, flares, dynamite, grenades, MOLOTOV COCKTAILS! Imrahil whistled. There were even makings for more.  
  
He and Ellie gathered as much as they could, loading their inventory and then some. Then they heard a sound, and a shovel burst through the floor!  
  
Part VII- A Degree of Success  
  
It was then that Stinky's head popped up from the hole like a jack-in- the-box.  
  
Imrahil heard Chow's voice, "Good job, boy! Now, get the bombs!"  
  
Stinky started giggling, "Some one beat us to it!"  
  
Imrahil beamed and started passing the explosives to Stinky. They got an assembly line going.  
  
Imrahil then heard more gargles overhead. He quickly ran to the trap door and fashioned a crude lock, hoping to buy them a little bit of time.  
  
Within minutes, everyone was again in the tunnel. As some brought the explosives back, Egbert made another trap door to separate the basement from the tunnel.  
  
Part VIII- What They Decide  
  
"58 fireworks, 65 Molotov Cocktails, makings for 26 more, 76 grenades, 11 sticks of dynamite and 32 flares," counted Aurora.  
  
"What are we gonna do with it all?" asked Kitty.  
  
"I'm not sure. I-"Imrahil paused.  
  
More rumbling and Garglers charged overhead. They could hear Nook screaming.  
  
"You fools! Find them! They couldn't escape! SEARCH HARDER!!!"  
  
The rumbling passed.  
  
Deena looked up, "What are we gonna do?  
  
Roald suddenly spoke, "We should hit Nook's store! Pack all the explosives under the floor. Then set them off and take Nook and the Garglers with the building!"  
  
"Brilliant! Chow, how long will it take to burrow under the store?" asked Egbert.  
  
Chow put his hand to his chin, "No more than a day."  
  
Imrahil smiled to himself, they were gonna save the town.  
  
Part IX- Off His Rocker  
  
"Why have we not yet found the rogues?! How hard is it to find a bunch of dumb animals?!" Nook threw a plate against the wall to emphasize his point.  
  
He calmed himself and straightened his monocle. He called to his sons, "Tommy! Timmy! Get over here!"  
  
The boys ran up to him. "Yes, father? (father?)"  
  
"How goes business, boys?"  
  
"Terrible. There is no one to buy things. (things.)"  
  
A vein on Nook's forehead started throbbing. "Boys, we must work harder to make more bells. And clean up that mess!" Nook pointed to the dish he shattered, "And boys, I'd like you to look for the ones that survived. The Garglers are not quite smart enough for search and mangle missions. Once the rogues are destroyed, we can start anew. New people will arrive and that means fresh bells. If you play a part in the destruction of those in our way, I can guarantee some rewards."  
  
An evil look played on the two young raccoons' faces. "Of course, father. (father.)"  
  
Part X- BOOM!  
  
"Here it is," Chow whispered to Imrahil.  
  
"I can hear them," Imrahil pressed his ear up to the floor of the store above them.  
  
Garglers moved about freely, and they could hear Nook and his children laughing.  
  
Chow pointed to a place about six feet away from them. "There's right in front of the door. Go for it, Ellie!"  
  
Ellie burst through the tunnel to find herself about half a foot from the door to Nookington's. She quickly grabbed a boulder and blocked the doorway. She then piled more rocks to make escape virtually impossible. She then ducked back into the tunnel, putting a boulder to block the hole.  
  
Meanwhile, everyone else had been packing the explosives under the store. All that was left was one Molotov Cocktail and a lighter.  
  
"Okay everyone, back to the main hideout! Now!" Imrahil commanded. Bob led the group, wielding an axe. Ellie stood at the door of the hideout with yet another heavy boulder meant to block the main room from the blast. Imrahil rolled a rag and stuck it into the neck of the bottle. He closed his eyes and lit the rag. As soon as it caught, Imrahil backed as far away from the pile of explosives as he could to still be within throwing distance. Then he lobbed the crude bomb toward the pile.  
  
Imrahil ran. He ran and dove into the room, Ellie shutting off the new tunnel as he cleared the entrance.  
  
"KABOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
They heard screams. Loud screams filled with pain. The animals holed up in their sanctuary screamed too, with joy. They jumped up and down, laughing and hugging.  
  
"Success! Success!" screamed Imrahil.  
  
Part XI- Epilogue  
  
The animals retook the town that was stolen from them. The rebuilding was significant, but it was filled with sweet victory. Nook and his boy's charred remains were thrown into the ocean. There were a few surviving Garglers, but the axes made quick work of them.  
  
The best part of the entire ordeal was that Nook's obsession with bells had made it so he stored it all in a fireproof vault. There was millions of dollars, enough to turn the town back into the bustling, beautiful and productive place it was before.  
  
The entire town has made several TV appearances, including Oprah, David Letterman and even the Conan O'Brien Show, during which Bob got into a fight with Triumph the Insult Dog. Bob was released from jail later that night on a $3,000 bail.  
  
~FIN~ 


End file.
